zondag 17 januari 2010

The desire to start again with your ex

Are you really sure you want to get back with your ex? Sometimes after a breakup, our emotions become frantic and fragile. Our self-esteem takes a hit and everything begins to seem much harder. We tend to lose our clarity and ability to focus on the true issues of our relationship breakup.


With escalating emotions and the abrupt change of lifestyle without our ex-partner, it can become easy for us to view life through rose-colored glasses. Sometimes the real issues behind the breakup are pushed down and instead a clingy, needy feeling for our ex envelops our life. We become consumed with thoughts of "I want to get back with ex."

That clingy, needy sense of desperation is a powerful emotion that can have us white-washing our relationship problems with our ex. It feeds the rose-colored view of our ex and can alter our perception of the true reasons behind the breakup. Getting back with your ex seems to become the paramount focus of life. The rose-colored view of our ex-partner, and relationship, many times can have us lying to ourselves.

Are These The Lies You Are Telling Yourself?

* There is no way I can make it without my ex. He is my whole life, nothing else matters.

* I want to get back with my ex girlfriend because I know there is no way I can ever be happy without her.

* Just no way I will ever find anyone as good as my ex.

* If I can just get back with my ex, I know that things will be different the next time.

Take comfort in the fact that this is a normal reaction to have following a breakup. The thing you need to focus on regardless of whether you and your ex get back together is that you can have a happy wholesome life. A great way to start is by giving your self-esteem a boost. To stop treating yourself poorly is a great way to help boost your self-esteem. If you find yourself saying or thinking negative things about yourself, stop what you are doing. Replace these actions and thoughts with positive ones. Inject into your lifestyle fun and exciting things that bring you pleasure. Joy will once again start to flow in your life. Once you are feeling more self-assured and confident, you will be in a much better position to determine if "I want to get back with ex" is your true desire.

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